20-year old Kaylee Muthart was high on methamphetamine when

20-year old Kaylee Muthart was high on methamphetamine
She gouged out her eyes while high to get closer to God

There was a message from God, 20-year old Kaylee Muthart believed, that she needed to sacrifice something special.

Muthart was high on methamphetamine, a freight train of a dose bigger than all the others, and the signs were all there. A white bird along a dark path. A man with a biblical name asking for a key. Muthart was looking for personal salvation, but she also wanted to save the world.

“I thought everything would end abruptly, and everyone would die,” Muthart told Cosmopolitan, “if I didn’t tear out my eyes immediately.”

She did. And for the first time since the Feb. 6 incident in Anderson, S.C., Muthart is explaining how she went from being an honor student to becoming a drug user who fought off several men trying to subdue her as the remains of her sea-green eyes dangled from her head.

Muthart was a good student in high school, she told the magazine. But a focus on work to save money for a car and issues with an irregular heartbeat led to poor school performance. She dropped out and soon turned to alcohol and other substances.

“But when I was 19 last summer,” she told Cosmopolitan, “I was smoking pot with an acquaintance at his house and got a strange high. Later, I googled the symptoms that surprised me the most — numb lips and feeling like I was on top of the world. I’d long been a religious Christian; the high made me feel particularly close to God.”

Muthart said she believed the marijuana was laced with meth or cocaine — which appears to have made her relate drug use with a religious experience. And soon after, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The extreme highs and lows of the condition left her susceptible to drug use, doctors told her.

“While on ecstasy, I studied the Bible. I misinterpreted a lot of it. I convinced myself that meth would bring me even closer to God,” she said.

In August, she picked at blackheads on her face until it bled. By Thanksgiving, Muthart moved from smoking meth to snorting and shooting it into her veins, she said.

Her mother, Katy Tompkins, was alarmed by her rapidly deteriorating condition soon before the incident.

“The day before it happened, which was my birthday, I was getting ready to have her committed, just to get her off the streets and away from it,” Tompkins told People. “But I was too late.” Tompkins and Muthart could not be reached by The Washington Post.
Note: if you are squeamish, quit now, or read an uplifting story, like the one about selfie-snapping penguins, or the Canadian doctors asking for a pay decrease to help out nurses and clerks.

Muthart was in a drug-induced hallucination when she had her epiphany. Her eyes had to go. “Why me? Why do I have to do this?” she prayed, pounding the ground.

Then, in graphic detail, Muthart explained how she came to be blind, near a church.

“So I pushed my thumb, pointer, and middle finger into each eye. I gripped each eyeball, twisted, and pulled until each eye popped out of the socket — it felt like a massive struggle, the hardest thing I ever had to do. Because I could no longer see, I don’t know if there was blood. But I know the drugs numbed the pain.”

She continued: “I’m pretty sure I would have tried to claw right into my brain if a pastor hadn’t heard me screaming, 'I want to see the light!' — which I don’t recall saying — and restrained me. He later said, when he found me, that I was holding my eyeballs in my hands. I had squished them, although they were somehow still attached to my head.”

A group of startled people rushed to help her, including the pastor — nearly 10 people in all, Muthart ventured to guess. “At some point, paramedics arrived, and I was so combative that they had to sedate me with ketamine,” she told Cosmopolitan. She fought so hard that her wrists hurt for weeks. A helicopter airlifted her to Greenville Memorial Hospital.

Doctors excised the remains of her eyes to preserve her optic nerves and prevent infection, she said. Her hospital stay lasted about a week. “I was told there’s red tissue (muscle filling the socket) and a white spot (my optic nerve endings) where my eyeballs used to be.”

Muthart has reckoned with her problems. She was recently released from a psychiatric facility and has vowed to stay clear of drugs. She started a GoFundMe page to get a seeing-eye dog and will get nonfunctioning prosthetic eyes once her sockets heal.

It has been a big adjustment to permanent blindness. She has run into things at home and has trouble sleeping. Her mother is helping the best she can.

But Muthart said the episode turned her back from the brink.

“I’d rather be blind than dependent on drugs,” she said. In a strange way, Muthart now sees the light.

Kaylee started using methamphetamine—an illegal stimulant that increases the amount of dopamine in the brain—about six months before the gruesome incident took place.

Hello, I'm Kaylee's mother. My daughter was involved in a tragic incident that has left her permantently blind. We have started a GoFundMe to rasie funds to get her a service dog. Like so many, she fell victim to the dangerous reality of methamphetamine.

“But when I was 19 last summer,” she told Cosmopolitan, “I was smoking pot with an acquaintance at his house and got a strange high. Later, I googled the symptoms that surprised me the most — numb lips and feeling like I was on top of the world. I’d long been a religious Christian; the high made me feel particularly close to God.”

Muthart said she believed the marijuana was laced with meth or cocaine — which appears to have made her relate drug use with a religious experience. And soon after, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The extreme highs and lows of the condition left her susceptible to drug use, doctors told her.

“While on ecstasy, I studied the Bible. I misinterpreted a lot of it. I convinced myself that meth would bring me even closer to God,” she said.

In August, she picked at blackheads on her face until it bled. By Thanksgiving, Muthart moved from smoking meth to snorting and shooting it into her veins, she said.

I’d long been a religious Christian; the high made me feel particularly close to God.”

“While on ecstasy, I studied the Bible. I misinterpreted a lot of it. I convinced myself that meth would bring me even closer to God,” she said.

TracyB wrote:

how does the high of drugs compare to other experiences?

It heightens everything. You're all hopped up during conversations, better mood, etc. It intensifies things like music, sex, and for me especially....roller coasters. We'd do lines of Oxy in the bathrooms at Carowinds and Busch Gardens and then ride coasters.

detective pinkie wrote:
Hold yourself to the same standards - explain why an intruder would leave a body and a note, simply and believably

tawny wrote:
the fail in logic is astounding.

This is an example of NO IDI explanation. Why would an intruder hide her body? Seriously, please answer that for me. Why would an intruder hide her body rather than take her with them and dump her, or leave her where she was? Did an intruder seriously believe she would NEVER EVER be found inside the house?

Serious question: Why would an intruder hide her body in a dark room in a basement?

If he wanted to ensure it was found, why hide it? If he had to bug out, not taking the kidnapped-turned-murdered with him, why did he leave the note?

Delay discovery to what end? If he were bugging out, why would he care when, where, and how she's found?

It makes zero logical sense.

ukguy wrote:
Mama2JML,
Why does an intruder need to bother with a RN at all, all that sitting around authoring a RN, increases the risk of being caught.

No JonBenet in the house tells its own story, when followed up with a ransom phone call, no RN is required.

There is no IDI explanation forthcoming as to why the said intruder did not remove JonBenet from the house, which is just as inconsistent as any staged kidnapping leaving JonBenet in the house!

Intruder plan of action: Enter Ramsey household remove JonBenet, dead or alive, relocate to the boot of awaiting car, then simply drive away. Next day phone ransom demands. Total time to execute less than fifteen minutes!

nimyat of reddit wrote:
There is absolutely 0 reason to start to write a draft ransom note and then write the real thing and make it that ridiculously long.

If it was a premeditated kidnapping, ('hid in the house' theory) why the fuck wouldn't you bring a ransome note with you and why the hell would you start to draft one and then write one on paper found in the house.

If it was a burglary turned kidnapping, why would you start to draft a ransom note, and then write the real thing 4 pages long? You would scribble something like "I've taken your daughter, dont contact police, deposit money at this location at this time if you want to see her again." A panicked burglar does not sit and start writing about his 'organisation'.

A lot of people get bogged down in the details of the case, because it is a fascinating one and it is very interesting, but the ransom note is the most ridiculous thing ever and was totally written by one of the family in my opinion. They also completely over thought it - mentioning the fathers business, his bonus, writing 4 pages worth etc.

There's no way the family wasn't involved. As for which one did it, that is what is hard to prove.

docg wrote:

Questions

An intruder intending to express his anger or disdain for the Ramseys would have had no reason to write a meaningless ransom note. A kidnapper would not have left both the note and the body. If the parents were involved in this together, as so many assume, such a note might serve to throw the police off the track, but only if the body were found, days later, in some remote area. Or never found. With the body hidden in the house, where it is sure to be discovered, the note only creates problems for the Ramseys, the only ones who could "logically" have written it. If they were not planning on getting the body out of the house before the police came, then why would they write an obviously phony note?

Also, why was the note hand printed? Why not print it via computer? Or paste words together from newspapers? If the parents, or anyone at all close to the family, wrote it, they would be risking exposure for sure.

Answers

No intruder would have had anything to gain by writing the ransom note. No intruder would have any reason to write it. A kidnapper would have taken the child (or her body) with him. If something had gone wrong with his plan, he would have had no reason to leave a possibly incriminating note. Someone intending to frame John or Patsy would not have written the note in his own hand, as that would be evidence of an intruder. The conclusion is simple: there was no kidnapper. There was no intruder. The note must have been written by someone on the inside -- and it does indeed read like a staged kidnapping attempt.

tawny wrote:
the fail in logic is astounding.

This is an example of NO IDI explanation. Why would an intruder hide her body? Seriously, please answer that for me. Why would an intruder hide her body rather than take her with them and dump her, or leave her where she was? Did an intruder seriously believe she would NEVER EVER be found inside the house?

Serious question: Why would an intruder hide her body in a dark room in a basement?